Monday, December 8, 2014

Is this real life?

Ever feel like your entire life is crashing around you? Like you're in a giant bathtub and someone just pulled the plug out and you're just waiting until you swirl down the drain?  That's pretty much been my life for the past few months.  My long distance long term relationship is floundering and I think I just put the nail in the coffin.  How do you know when its time to move on?  Is is just a rut or is this how its going to be forever?  To make it even worse I met someone but I'm pretty sure I fucked that up too.  I'm done knowing what to do and I'm done pretending that I know what I want.

Story of my life.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Crash Diets

This is probably not what you're expecting from this post but I am pro crash dieting.  I don't understand why people think they have the right to tell other people how to act or behave.  if you want to crash diet, do it! I've done it a few times and the results were completely worth it.  Whats wrong with wanting to be prettier or skinnier and yes, watching what you eat and exercising is the "safe" way to do it but it takes SOOOO long.  When I want something I want it now.  I lose interest very quickly in things so if I can crash diet and have results in two weeks as opposed to the "right" way, then I'm going to do it. So here's to crash dieting because who the fuck cares about what other people think and does anyone actually do things the "right" way anymore?

Being bad always feels this good.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

How Queer...
So, I really doubt anyone else will actually be able to relate to this post but I'm writing this for me so I don't give a shit.  Ever have the sneaking suspicion that your boyfriend wants to be playing for the other team, that he isn't just a fan of gay rights because its fair, that he has a dirty little secret.  Well, for the past three years I've had that worry with my boyfriend.  It started small but has literally gone through points where my boyfriend has literally told me I think I'm gay and am attracted to men.  Of course me, being a dominant controlling woman has brushed this aside and helped him "worked through it."  After all, I'm not going to let over 3.5 years of my life have been for nothing, I plan on having children in the near future.  What do I even do at this point, we've been together so long I feel like I'm stuck and I could get another guy in a second but I'd be too embarrassed to drop the one I already have. Ugh,  This is just going to be one of the many blogs on this issue so I'll just stop here for now, I guess I have a LOT to think about.  Well, PT at 5am (that's another interesting story I'll explain that one tomorrow) Nighty night, and by that I mean I'm going to go make pancakes, finish my beer, shower, and watch Sabrina.  Long live the comma before the and!
Just a day in the life :)

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Because new things are cool.

Apparently since I have a blog now I feel the need to sit here and think about things to say.  Which is dumb because if you have to sit here and think about what you want to say then its not real and it's not raw which is the opposite of what I'm trying to do here.  So no, this isn't about the things I sat here and thought about saying. This is about over thinking and how its fucking stupid. 

 I literally could not tell you how many times I sit there and THINK about saying things.  As a disclaimer, its probably a good thing I don't just go say exactly what I'm thinking all the time because every time I have its ended badly so I guess I'm just a terrible person or whatever, I don't really give a shit though, so. Why do people think so hard about everything they say.  If you think about how much you think before saying things you'll realize that literally no body knows the real you.  Yes, filters are good and necessary in life but what if everyone was just honest all the time.  the only reason that there is a need for filters is because someone somewhere down the line decided to be an asshole and get offended by someones opinion because I guess we're all allowed to have one as long as we keep it to ourselves.  Which is fucking dumb.  I challenge everyone who reads this to, for one full day, write down every single thought you have to add to a conversation that you have to keep to yourself because it wouldn't be "PC" or socially acceptable.  Moral of the story, stop giving a shit about what people would say and just do you.

Ramblings of a drunkard 

If you read my first post then you probably got the idea that my blog was just going to be a bunch of venting, bitchy posts about boys and bitches and just life in general.  If you guessed this then you would be 100% correct; however, it will also include random and potentially serious conversations that i would normally have in my head.  This is not one of those.  This is just going to be me bitching because misery loves company but it loves booze more, so fuck you.

So, lets just jump right into the bitching.  My "significant" other and I met a long time ago, before college and "discovering yourself" and all the fucking bull shit that goes along with that.  Since college a lot of things have changed, My boyfriend, we'll just call him Q (mostly just because I've always wanted to do that but also to conceal my and his identity in case some moron actually sits here and reads the stupid shit I have to say), recently decided to become a dick head.  Last semester was really bad, thank god I didn't have a blog then because it would have been absolutely ridiculous and every other word would have been cunt, this semester, though, I thought I had a decent handle on the situation, this past week has made me realize I was wrong which is why I'm sitting here excessively drinking and thinking a blog with all my thoughts is a good idea.  Yes, that was a run on sentence. Fuck you, I'm not an English major.  So, like I was saying, last semester he was being a complete and absolute cock sucker.  When my 21's birthday and our 3 year anniversary came around he decided to refuse to visit me.  I never got a gift and he never made me a cake, but we're not going to talk about that because if I went into last semester people would think I murdered someone which (unfortunately) didn't happen.  So, like I said, he skipped everything important.  This past weekend his roommates friend (slut) turned 21 (pretty much all of his roommates friends are children, like legit I will be married with children before they turn 21) and Q thought he was going to take this girl out to celebrate her birthday.  Yes, I am super jealous and controlling and whatever the fuck you want to call me.  So we got in a huge fight over this and he had his roommate block me from all social media sites and block me from his phone, very mature. We are STILL not talking which is actually fine with me because I don't feel like dealing with his shit right now.  So, that's where I'm at right now.  Q is a cock sucker and I wanna scream in his face.

"Significant" OTHER
Hello Internet,

So, I'm making this blog more for myself than anyone else.  Everyone needs somewhere to take out their frustrations and vent and I feel like a blog is a better way to go than posting something on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Vine, Tumblr, Snapchat or any of the other ridiculous social media sites.  Like I said, I'm writing this for myself and really don't expect anyone to read any of the shit I have to say which is why I'm going to be brutally honest and open because no one has a single fucking clue who I am and if you don't like what I have to say I really don't give a fuck.  I am a 21 year old female college student with a long distance boyfriend and a long list of complaints.  The boyfriend and complaints thing goes hand in hand which is another reason I'm not telling anyone about this blog.  When you're in a long term relationship (like, oh, idk, three and a half years) you don't really want to go and put your boyfriend on blast to your brand new roommates who you don't really know because it makes you look like your relationship is destine for failure, which could be true but I still don't want people to think that. So, for that reason I now have a blog where I can talk about whatever the fuck I want, for as long as I want, whenever I want, without people I know judging me or not taking me seriously.  Chances are this blog will last about 2 days and then I'll get tired or writing shit for no reason because as every other college student knows, there is enough writing as it is. So this is me, raw and real and not giving a single fuck.

~Mama raised me better